June 16, 2011
By Rod Williamson (Iowa Native)
Some of you Commodore fans are heading to the Midwest for the first time. Perhaps as a kid your parents drove through Iowa and Nebraska on your family’s way to a vacation in the Rockies but otherwise you are a novice.
Have no fear, with 33 years of Midwest residency, it’s our favorite area and we will share what you need to know to get along just fine in Omaha.
Be humble: Midwest folk don’t care for show-offs or loudmouths. When a native says something “is decent” or “ain’t too bad” take it as a ringing endorsement.
Dress the part: No need to pack your Armani suits and leave your pinkie rings at home. In the Midwest, the people are a lot more interested in what you wear inside than your custom made sport coats and alligator shoes. To blend in, a faded polo and jeans work perfectly.
Eat right: You are going to a great place for food, just don’t mess it up by ordering mahi-mahi or the vegetable plate. The smart order is steak and the next best choice is anything else that was once attached to a cow.
Memorable pictures: Unless you hope to photograph the swollen Missouri River or want proof you have been near a corn field, leave your camera in the suitcase until you go to Ameritrade Park. A photo in front of the “Road to Omaha” statue is a must.
AK-SAR-BEN: A once famous horse racing track in Omaha, it was a major sports attraction from 1919 to 1995. AK-SAR-BEN is Nebraska spelled backwards.
Bob Devaney: If you hear this name mentioned in conversation, act reverently. He was the football coach that got the Nebraska Cornhuskers rolling in the 1960’s before becoming the Director of Athletics and hiring Tom Osborne to run the Big Red Machine. The two are considered holy, even if Devaney has been deceased for 14 years.
Speaking Midwestern: Southerners should be prepared to repeat routine utterances while natives gather friends to hear your drawl. They love it, the more syrupy the better. Those coming from the east coast should be wary; they are not big into basic Soprano speak. Someone from Jersey might consider writing notes. A table of women should not be offended if the waiter asks “what do you guys want?” No offense is intended.Sandhills: These are not castles on the beach in Destin. The Sandhills are the rugged cattle country in the western part of Nebraska.Sincerity: When Midwesterners tell you “good luck”, they actually mean it. And if they thought you needed one, most would literally give you the shirt off their back.Salt of the Earth: In our humble view, these people are as good as they come. They just won’t admit it publicly.