June 12, 2008
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By Lacrosse Student-Athlete Brooke Shinaberry
Editor’s Note: Each month “Commodore Nation” will ask a varsity athlete to sound off on a point of personal interest. Shinaberry just completed her senior season on the lacrosse team and is working on a master’s in education in international education policy and management.
I come to realize that my life embodies straddling two worlds. One foot in the deaf world, yet still part of the hearing world. One foot as an athlete, yet still resembling characteristics of your everyday college student. One foot in America, yet my heart still lies in Africa. It’s an awkward place to be, as it stretches the legs upon which I stand. I would prefer to be in one place instead of straddling awkwardly across these different worlds. Contrary to American doctrine, however, I think we’re supposed to be a little bit uncomfortable as we live within the tensions of this complicated world.
Lately, I come to realize that it’s not just a sound, a gift, or an ocean that separates me from these different worlds. Greater barriers have caused a distance between these contradicting worlds that I straddle, but yet I still stand strong, not battered, broken, or defeated.
I was born with a mild hearing loss and fitted for behind-the-ear hearing aids. I never let that stand in my way and turned to sports as a way to prove to the world that I am worthy. Don’t get me wrong, I have endured my share of doubt and ridicule from peers and strangers, but I chose to not let anything or anyone stand in my way of achieving my dreams, which has led me to this amazing place I have come to call home, Vanderbilt University.
Three years ago, my life changed within the blink of an eye. I returned to campus ready to start my junior year, where I was in the process of completing a double major in human and organizational development and anthropology. I began to notice that I was not able to hear things that I normally would have been able to hear and went to visit my audiologist. He told me that my hearing was rapidly declining. Within three months I had gone from a mild hearing loss to a profound hearing loss in both ears for no apparent reason. I was no longer able to hear the wonderful sounds that God has placed in this world, but rather I walked around in silence. This may seem like a scary thing, but for some reason I was at peace with it, and looking back, it was the best thing that ever happened!
I have never let anything stand in my way, and I was not going to let deafness stop me from achieving the dreams and goals that I have set in my life. I opted to have surgery for a cochlear implant at Johns Hopkins University, and I have not looked back since. I put all my energy into excelling in the classroom, on the field and in life. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and losing my hearing was God’s way of opening my eyes and heart to what life has to offer.
